I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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