I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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