Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
