He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Pants are for mortals
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
And then he peed in my hair
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
