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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
its liver damage thursday
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