he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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