Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
