I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
false alarm. still invincible.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
