I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize