sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize