We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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