that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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