Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
