pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
