i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize