im so drunk with asians
where?
always
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
