can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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