At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
