This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
