i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just pee around me
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
