just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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