The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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