Got a toothbrush?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
