i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
