You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
50% drunk capacity currently
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
