just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
