it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
