But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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