He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I think I sprained my soul last night
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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