At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
