Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
