I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
