my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We need to feng shui this bitch.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
