I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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