she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
