This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
