if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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