why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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