How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
She announced her abortion via fbk
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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