I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i think i have two assholes
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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