There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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