i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize