In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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