My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
