I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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