walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
