Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Randomize
