i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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