the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
