Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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