Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
