Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
