Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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