Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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