Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
