i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
After tacos, we're chasing women.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize