am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
