The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So much rum. So many feels.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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