capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
