We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
