I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
no, he came in my armpit
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
