I can tuck mytits in my pants
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
