We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
