My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
