it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
