She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
