does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
