you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
