If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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