the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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